Have you had days where you find yourself upset at yourself? Upset because you felt like you let yourself or someone else down. Or because you felt like you let God down?
I've had those days. Those days where depression would get the better of me and I take that frustration and anger out on those around me. Deep down in my heart I know that I didn't intend to, and I definitely didn't want to. But it happened. Then what do you do?
Two things. First, you can help yourself in preventing or reducing the frequency of those kind of incidents. And two, if and when it happens, you can forgive yourself and move on.
I've noticed that when something of this sort happens, I start to obsess over my wrongs. I brood over the wrong for hours, sometimes days. I forget about everything else around me and my wrong becomes the star of my next few days. Depression is notorious for that. The enemy is notorious for that. What a way to rob us of our daily peace and joy! What a way to rob us of God's forgiveness.
Don't let depression rob you of your everyday peace. If you slip, get back up, accept the forgiveness of God and move on. If your slip caused hurt to anyone, then simply explain to them the truth of your struggle with depression. If the friend or family member is genuine and has your best interest at heart, they will understand. If not, you have to define within yourself that you will move on in the forgiveness of God, no matter what.
And with regard to preventing these sort of scenarios in your already difficult days with depression - whenever you notice the provoking emotions rising within you, walk away. Withdraw yourself to a place where you can give yourself time to process the frustration. If you find that you are unable to do it yourself, call or text a good friend. Ask for prayer. Even pray yourself. But I totally understand that there may be days when you are unable to pray.
And those days of not praying are also ok by God. Don't let condemnation beat you down. I have talked to many friends who struggle with days where depression and its close ally condemnation keeps them from talking to God. And we have all come to the conclusion that God knows our imperfect side even better than we do. Nothing is hidden from Him.
So the next time you find yourself dawdling with the discouraging days of depression remember these simple points - stop. Walk away. Or pray and push depression out of the way!