Plainly put, this is called “I want others to like me and I push my thoughts and actions in that direction.”
Is that something you struggle with? The approval of others? Wanting to please others?
This was a big time struggle for me. Not to say that I’ve gotten the monkey off my back entirely. But, any step in the direction of erasing the ogre of people pleasing is a step forward.
For a lot of us, this probably results from childhood experiences. And for others it may have sprouted from dealing with extremely demanding individuals. How hard is it to live this way day after day! Making decisions, taking actions, staking personal happiness, all to please someone else.
Like Geri Scazzero says in her book The Emotionally Healthy Woman, “My daily reality was that my lovability came not from Christ but from how others perceived me.” Wow! How much of our own individuality and personality are we putting at stake here?
I found that moving forward with my dreams and goals were seriously barricaded by this people pleasing syndrome. I couldn’t live that way anymore. It was suffocating because my God given potential was bursting at the seams within me and I couldn’t, or I should say, I wouldn’t, let it out because of this roadblock. That isn’t worth any person’s approval or disapproval. Because let’s face it, some people may never approve of us no matter how much we try.
This calls for some major surgery. The surgical procedure of removing the people pleasing infection and replacing it with Christ centered truths about us. He says some marvelous truths about us. Some of it maybe too hard to believe or accept. Because we’ve heard and accepted distorted statements about who we are and what we should or should not be. Because we have looked at ourselves through the critical lenses of others for so long.
Time to drop the veil of judgment and feel validated by the One who truly validates us.
“For we are His workmanship, His own master work, a work of art, created in Christ Jesus reborn from above—spiritually transformed, renewed, ready to be used for good works, which God prepared for us beforehand [taking paths which He set], so that we would walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us].”
Ephesians 2:10 AMP